American Apparel Attempts to Revive the Scrunchie
Okay designers, joke’s over. Bringing back leggins was funny at first. When Ray-Ban and LA Gear made a comeback, it started to be a little less so. The return of Members Only jackets was a bit much. But now you’ve done it, American Apparel. You’ve taken it too far, to a place that should have died when the ’80s ended: the scrunchie.
American Apparel is now shoving on unsuspecting teens “a throwback to every girl’s favorite 80’s accessory.” First, the editor in me has to point out that it’s ’80s not 80’s. But even though we - yes, myself included - absolutely loved accessorizing with wacky colored and printed schunchies, that does not mean that they should be revived … especially when the wound (created when the ’90s made us realize how ugly they really were) is still so fresh.
If you simply must relive this faux pas, and don’t have any scrunchies left in your closet, you can snag some in plain or print cotton, shiny lamé, or neon-colored nylon for a rip-you-off price of $6 per hair band. But wait - if you buy the cotton two pack, available only in solid black and solid white, you can save $2 and pay just $10!
While shopping online, you can also view some odd ’80s scrunchie porn that they call a “slideshow featuring this style,” complete with a nipple slip. The slideshow also shows the many ways that you can wear your new/old look: Stack several on a super high pony tail, line your wrists or ankles with a variety of colors, secure a loose side braid, slick your hair back into a side pony tail, or lay in a pile of them.
Enjoy your ’80s throw back if you must, but know that bloggers everywhere will be mocking you.
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:03 pm
You have reached the pinnacle of success as soon as you become uninterested in money, compliments, or publicity.