Style Fix

Girls Aloud (the result of British reality show Popstars) members (L to R) Nadine Coyle, Nicola Roberts, Kimberley Walsh, Sarah Harding, and Cheryl Cole attempt to show you five smokin’ hot looks for the sparkling holidays. Unfortunately, instead they end up demonstrating how one outfit err can ultimately cause the entire ensemble to fail miserably (click on the picture to see it bigger).

As they ladies attended the world premiere of St. Trinian’s (new Rupert Everett and Colin Firth flick) on December 10, in London, England, here’s what they are teaching us about fashion:

Nadine’s dress says: “Next time, please buy the proper size. My seams hurt; you’re pressing my awesome fabric to its limits. Given, it’s not your fault that my waist was stitched too high, but had you just bought one of my longer relatives that would have been a moot point.”

Nicola’s peacock skirt says: “I rule! Feathers are so the hot trend right now. And, wow, those stockings are the perfect shade for grown-up tights. But why, oh why, did they match me with a dance uniform top? I would also like to apologize for washing you out. My silver undertones and your reddish-porcelain blend are battling it out to that point that your potentially classic looks have become ghostly.”

Kimberley’s studmaster asks: “Why am I randomly missing one, maybe two, gold studs at the hem line? Way to make me look cheap! We totally would have pulled a “best dressed” had I been of better quality.”

Sarah’s slippery number says: “Okay, I may have my issues, but did you have to make it worse? I’m totally feeling the tights - we clique - but the shoes? Sarah, you insult me; such a different color on your feet (then legs) draws all the attention away from me and any positives that I have.”

Cheryl’s fringed frock says: “Come on, darlin’, everyone watched Project Runway last week: they were all just reminded that fringe is a disatrously out-of-date fad. Just slice off my boob tassels and I’ll be good to go, hugging your curves and making you look sexy-licious … but lose the headband and earrings while we’re at it, okay? I’ve got enough going on on my own.”