Golden Globes Red Carpet: Version Oh No She Didn’t
Like I said, most celebrities managed to dress themselves more or less appropriately last night, which was nice, and a welcome change from the norm. It was surprising, both to me and to those watching with me, how few times I threw popcorn and yelled some version of “Is she KIDDING me with that dress?” But with more bleeps.
But I did, more than once.
Here, I think I actually said “Oh my gawd, it’s Eliza Doolittle Barbie! I wanted that one sooooooo bad! How kind and brilliant of Nicolette Sheridan to alleviate my distress at having to type the words ‘Michael Bolton’ more than once by dressing as the object of my childhood obsession!”
Oooh, real subtle, Miss Beyonce. Is this, like, a subliminal message that you would look great as an Oscar winner? Mmhmm, sure. Look, you didn’t get a Golden Globe. And if you can’t win a Golden Globe, do you really think you will get an Oscar, no matter how much you look like one?
Is Heidi Klum pregnant again? What is this, child number 785? I know she just had one, but the last few times she’s bounced back so quickly, bounced back to lingerie-modeling shape, the biatch, that I harbored secret and self-serving suspicions that she just shoved a pillow under there and then adopted. So either she’s incapable of being not knocked up, or she’s wearing a leftover maternity nightgown and potholders.
This is going to be controversial, because some people really liked this dress. And I don’t hate it. The color is lovely on her skin, and I would have gone lighter on the eyes, but her makeup is okay too. It’s just that I hate, and by hate I mean am seriously disturbed by, dresses that have that chain-straps-then-under-the-bust thing. It looks too much like a dotted line to me. . .like, “Okay, here are the straps, and there’s a seam here. The boobs go above here, but we’ll figure out how later.” Distracting.
Golden Globes 2007, Golden Globes Red Carpet, Golden Globes Red Carpet Reviews, Eva Longoria, Heidi Klum, Seal, Beyonce, Nicolette Sheridan, Michael Bolton, Fashion, Style
January 31st, 2007 at 12:49 pm
[...] She looks like a silver candlabra, and I mean that in the most flattering, positive way possible. Tall and sleek, with sexy smooth curves. I love that this dress is grey. . .so much more interesting than black, yet still easily within the bounds of black tie. The shape is heaven on her, the flaring hem balancing out full hips and small waist in an elegant way (not an over-the-top Nicolette Sheridan-barbie-at-the-Golden-Globes way), the low-but-not-too-low cut top and very delicate straps making the most of lovely skin and some great boobies. I honestly, have very little bad to say about this outfit. [...]